1. Keep your temper; stay calm. |
Anger increases the heart rate and initiates a "fight-or-flight" response. |
2. Understand what triggers fighting. |
3. Understand that sometimes people use fighting to make themselves feel better. |
Remember that the other person is upset and wants to use fighting to solve the problem. |
The provocation is a response to their need, not to an irrevocable circumstance. |
Do not get manipulated into fighting because they want you to fight to solve their problem. |
4. Understand that the other person is a decent human being. |
5. Talk to the decent side of the other person instead of matching insults. |
"This isn't worth fighting about." |
"I have nothing against you. I don't want to fight you about this." |
"If I have done something wrong, you can talk with me and I will apologize and try to fix it. |
"If I haven't done anything wrong, I'll tell you that, but I don't want to settle this by fighting." |
6. If these steps do not work, walk away from the situation. Try to use humor as you leave. |
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